March 1998

i saw you tonight
my heart stopped every time
i'd catch you across the room
full of laughs,
things to say,
and people to greet

joy fills my soul
to see you smile
as selfish as it will come across
i admit
seeing you glow isn't enough
to make me satisfied

all this time has passed
i still fight being by your side
i should have long since given up these desires

every time we embrace
eyes or arms
my heart is at ease
and full of distant security
often times between our greetings
i still long for your enrapture
you've always known how to handle me

others say to "move on", "be done" or "forget"
that i can't

the constant thought of you being happy
should be enough for me to let go
greedy as it may be, it hasn't been enough reason

this is all so self-centered
so often i wish to tell you my true feelings
it's no longer my place
she makes you smile beautifully
as do his grin and marelous green eyes
quite amuse me

so some how i hide the glow of this raging flame
that still burns for you
it's still consuming me slowly

the music was playing
you look so tenderly in my eyes
with blue wonder
i want so much to be safe
and your eyes still give me that
by seeing the truth in my soul
i stare still to you
from across the room and from across time